We run the marathon after your baptism together

Sometimes I talk to people who haven't been baptized for long. As I get to know them better, I notice that there are still things in their lives they struggle with or where further growth is needed. A few years ago, I would probably have wondered if they were actually 'ready' for their baptism. Now a different question comes to mind: where are they today, what steps have they already taken, and how can we best help them to grow further? And honestly? Sometimes I still wonder if with that other approach we arenot lowering the bar.

That doubt is not new to me. As a bishop, I regularly encounter that question, among others but also within myself. Have our baptismal norms been relaxed? Has the church become milder, or perhaps even too lenient? I have struggled with that myself and have sometimes reacted too quickly or too assertively to it. After many conversations, reflection, and prayer, I started to look at it differently. Not because the goal has changed, but because I started to look differently at the starting point of someone's path.

Two voices, the same longing

This question has been occupying me for some time, and I notice that it also resonates within our own faith community, from various angles. Some members are concerned that we are not emphasizing the standards of the gospel enough. They fear that the threshold is becoming too low, that we say 'yes' too easily and insufficiently prepare people for what a covenant with God means. Others, however, are concerned that we are creating too many barriers. They fear that people only truly seem welcome when their lives are already completely in order, and that we insufficientlyshow that everyone can come to Jesus as they are.

I take both concerns seriously. According to me, they often stem from a sincere love for the gospel. Both voices understand something important about who Christ is, but neither on its own tells the full story. Those who primarily emphasize welcome are absolutely right that everyone can come to Jesus. No one must first get their whole life in order to be seen, loved, or called by Him. Jesus does not wait until someone is perfect before inviting them to come closer.

But whoever concludes from this that an encounter with Christ does not have to change anything misses an essential part of His message. In the story of the woman caught in adultery, Jesus not only says, ‘Neither do I condemn you.’ He adds, ‘Go now and leave your life of sin.’ Grace and change are not opposed to each other there. They belong together. Jesus does not condemn her, but also does not leave her without direction. Whoever remembers only one of those two sentences retains an incomplete picture of Christ.

Those who primarily emphasize standards are, in turn, right that there is direction, commandments, and covenants. Structure can protect people and bring them closer to their Savior. The gospel is not just a vague feeling of acceptance; it invites us to a concrete way of life. But whoever primarily sees faith as a collection of rules forgets why those rules exist. Joseph Smith once summarized this in the well-known principle: teach people correct principles, and let them govern themselves.

Sin is much more than a violation of a regulation. It affects our relationship with God, with other people, and with ourselves. In Doctrine and Covenants 19, we read that the Atonement cost the Savior so much pain that He trembled. Rules are therefore not there to needlessly complicate life. They point to things that are truly significant. The problem is not that one concern is justified and the other is not, but that both, each on its own, can mistake a half-truth for the full truth.

From 'are you ready?' to 'are you willing?'

That insight made me reflect on the question I so often asked myself. I used to almost automatically think of 'being ready' as: everything is in order. Every habit unlearned, every question answered, every doubt removed, and every problem solved. Anyone who was still struggling with something, in my mind, didn't seem truly ready yet. But has that ever been what the gospel asks? I don't think so.

What is asked is not that someone is already finished. It's about willingness: the sincere desire to follow Christ and to continue, even if the road is still long. None of us are finished. I myself, after years in the church and years of ecclesiastical responsibility, am still very much on the way. There are qualities in which I want to grow, habits I want to change, and things I realize Christ still has work to do on. If 'being finished' were the norm, no one would ever be ready.

Of course, that doesn't mean that being welcome, being ready for baptism, and being ready for every subsequent covenant step are exactly the same. Everyone is allowed to be part of the community and deserves love, respect, and a safe place. Baptism also requires faith in Christ, sincere repentance, and a real willingness to live according to His gospel. Even after that, there remain new steps, responsibilities, and covenants. But at no stage is perfection required beforehand.

Yet I would be dishonest if I said that nothing has changed in the way I look at baptism. Something has changed, and that is more than just a different choice of words. It's not that the process has become shorter, but the moment at which baptism falls within that process may be earlier for some people than others might expect. In the past, baptism was sometimes almost presented as a graduation ceremony: everything had to be in order first, and then baptism followed as confirmation that the process was largely completed. But thebaptism is not a diploma. It is a beginning.

With baptism come covenants and, as stated in Acts 2:38, the gift of the Holy Spirit. These are not rewards for people who have already completed the entire journey. They are gifts that help someone continue on the path. Therefore, whoever is baptized earlier in their growth process does not have less to deal with. Rather, they receive spiritual tools to continue growing. I therefore no longer see this as a relaxation, but as a different perspective on the order: not first fully change and only then withgo on the way with Christ, but consciously connect yourself to Him through baptism and continue to learn to live from that covenant.

I increasingly recognize this approach in the way conversion, covenants, and ministry are discussed within the church. How it is concretely applied will differ in practice. People differ, circumstances differ, and leaders must constantly try to act with wisdom, prayer, and love. This does not mean that anything is possible. Norms remain, and baptism involves a covenant that is not optional. The goal does not change: that our lives increasingly conform to that of Christ. Thatwe cannot raise or lower the bar ourselves, because it is not our bar.

What does change is the question that precedes it. Not just: are you ready yet? But also: do you truly want to go in that direction, and have the first steps of that conversion become visible? Readiness does not mean that we must recreate ourselves by our own strength. Conversion is not simply trying harder. It means that we allow Christ to work with us. We take steps, but His grace carries us when our own strength fails.

Not every struggle requires the same guidance

Within the norms of the gospel, differences exist. Not necessarily in the simple sense that one commandment is important and another is not, but in the nature of the struggle and the guidance someone needs. For example, a dependence on alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea, drugs, or other substances can have a strong physical, psychological, and social dimension. Those who struggle with this not only need encouragement but sometimes also time, intensive support, and professional help. A relapse can be seriouswithout automatically proving that all willingness has disappeared. Growth does not always proceed in a straight line.

Relational or sexual choices affect other aspects of life: trust, connection, responsibility, safety, and the way we treat our own bodies and those of others. Financial commandments, such as the law of the tithe, can affect trust in God, but also poverty, fear, uncertainty, and responsibility towards a family. The norm does not disappear as a result, but the path to change does not look the same for everyone. This difference in nature is why a pastoral conversation cannot everysituation can be treated in exactly the same way.

This does not mean that some people are taken less seriously or that certain commandments would not matter. It means that people are not identical problems that can be solved with one checklist. Good guidance therefore requires more than checking whether someone can tick all the right boxes. It asks that we listen, try to understand, speak honestly, and together look for the next feasible and sincere step. Not every struggle requires the same approach, but every person deserves the same love and care.

Teach principles, do not prescribe every detail

All this should not be confused with over-supervision. I previously quoted Joseph Smith: teach people correct principles, and let them govern themselves. That principle is not just about church governance. It also applies to the way we guide new and growing members. Even God does not constantly prescribe every detail of our lives. 'For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things,' we read in Doctrine and Covenants 58:26. The power lies precisely in people who, as free agents, learn to choose, act, andtake responsibility.

This means that we teach and then also leave room: room to make your own choices based on understanding, not just out of fear or social pressure; room to make mistakes, get back up and learn; and room to ask questions without every question being interpreted as resistance. That is not a sign of weakness. It is an important part of spiritual growth. Faith that only lasts as long as someone is constantly controlled has not yet learned to stand on its own two feet.

What does belong to the responsibility of leaders is helping people honestly see which choices support or hinder their next step. Not controlling every detail of someone's life, but helping to keep the path clear. What that specifically means varies from person to person and cannot be fully poured into a schedule. It requires prayer, conversation, discernment, and involvement from the people guiding someone each time anew. A checklist can provide clarity, but never the pastoralreplace the conversation.

Willingness is therefore not a blank check. It is a genuine direction, connected with concrete steps. Usually, this means that conversion has already begun: a harmful habit or one contrary to the gospel is no longer defended or consciously continued as if nothing is wrong. At the same time, the inner inclination, temptation, or vulnerability can remain present for a long time. Someone may have stopped and still struggle, progress and still stumble, or be genuinely willing and need more time than we expected.

No spectators, but fellow travelers

Whoever complains that the church has become too lenient, in my opinion sometimes forgets that the Lord may still be working with someone, and that such a process deserves time. Those who are in the midst of change themselves rarely experience their own growth as impressive progress. It much more often feels like struggling, falling, doubting, trying again, and sometimes barely noticing that anything has changed. When someone says: 'The Lord is still working on me,' that doesn't have to be an excuse. It can mean: I'm not yet where I want to be, but I am moving. That is somethingdifferent from consciously standing still, and it doesn't deserve impatience or humiliation, but guidance.

In my opinion, there is an important task for those who have been in the church for a longer time: not to watch from a distance and judge, but to walk along. Anyone who has ever trained for a marathon knows that the difference between finishing and giving up is rarely just a matter of talent. It matters who walks next to you, who provides water on time, who encourages you when you think you can't go on, and who notices you are in pain before you dare to admit that you can't go on. People entering the church sometimes have a long way to goahead. Our task is not only to applaud along the course. Our task is to walk a part of that path beside them.

But the same metaphor also has another side, and I don't want to beat around the bush. Anyone who signs up for a marathon but never trains, rejects all help along the way and refuses to take a single step, will probably not reach the finish line, no matter how beautiful the original intention was. Anyone who says they are willing, but continues to reject every concrete invitation to grow, ultimately makes no progress. Love that remains silent about this does not help anyone. That is why we must dare to honestly say what the gospel asks.

At the same time, we must be careful with quick conclusions. Those who slow down or drop out along the way do not always do so out of lack of will. Sometimes someone is exhausted. Sometimes someone carries injuries that we do not see. Sometimes someone has never felt safe enough to honestly say how difficult it really was. And sometimes the guidance was not appropriate, too coercive, or too absent. That is also part of our task as fellow travelers: not only to encourage perseverance, but also to see when someone needs rest, understanding, professional help, or another formof guidance.

Therefore, leaders and other members must dare to honestly say what the gospel demands, but also remain humble enough to acknowledge that we do not always fully understand what someone carries. Love does not mean we approve of every choice. It does mean that a person's worth does not disappear when they stumble, doubt, or fall behind. Nor does love guarantee that everyone stays; people make their own choices, and sometimes paths diverge. But without love, we make it unnecessarily difficult for people to continue to grow.

Precisely as leaders, we have the responsibility to point out what truly matters. Not from an 'anything goes' mentality, but from a love that is honest enough to leave no one in the dark and gentle enough not to reduce anyone to their shortcomings. We do not have to choose between clarity and compassion. Christ did not do that either. He spoke truth, but never lost sight of the person before Him.

Welcome, and then?

So yes: everyone is welcome, exactly as they are. You don't have to go through years of preparation or make yourself perfect first before you are welcome in the church, with Christ, or in a faith community. Anyone considering becoming a member does not have to wait until everything is completely in order. But whoever steps in should also know what they are getting into: a church that expects growth because it believes that Christ invites each of us to change.

That is not a contradiction. Being truly welcome does not mean that everyone must always stay where they are today. And being called to change does not mean that someone is less loved, less valuable, or less welcome today. That is the balance we must continue to seek together, with attention for those concerned that norms are disappearing, but also for those afraid that they will only be welcome once they have become someone else.

The growth that is asked of us, by the way, is not primarily something that a community demands of us in order to belong. It is the work of the Savior Himself. He invites, forgives, teaches, and strengthens. He sometimes asks for difficult things, but also remains present when our growth is slower than we ourselves or others had hoped. This work does not take place according to one identical timetable for everyone. We are there to guide, support, and honestly teach, not to force anyone at our pace.force.

So come as you are. Not because everything always has to stay that way, but because Christ begins exactly where you stand today. The question is not whether you are already finished. The question is whether you are willing to go on your way with Him. And the rest? We learn that together, step by step, like fellow runners during a long marathon.