‘The secret lives of the mormon wives’ in real life

The Flemish and Dutch newspapers report recently juicy about a new Hulu series ‘The secret lives of the mormon wives‘. The series supposedly offers a look behind the scenes of Mormon women. It gives the impression that the devout life is a smokescreen behind which many fantasies, including sexual ones, are experienced. Time to set some things straight.

Are these women members of the church? Yes, there is no reason to oppose that. Are they typical of the community? Certainly not. Are they unique? Also probably not. We must not forget that Hulu did not make a documentary, but a series that should attract viewers. The makers therefore know which angles work best. Moreover, these women are self-proclaimed influencers and we now know that the life presented by influencers is often a lot duller than they portray. So I am sure that their actuallife is a lot duller than they now let on.

We must not forget that these sisters have chosen to seek the spotlight. Humility is a Christian virtue, and that virtue naturally falters a bit when seeking attention becomes your main motivation. From a religious perspective, you could even say that this is one of the sweet apples with which the adversary tempts you to deviate from what truly matters. And that is already the main observation: these women may be fellow believers, but their vision is certainly not the mainstream view of our members.Are they lying? No, I don't think so. I'm not even going to claim that their stories are made up.

I am currently a bishop and in this calling, you truly see a cross-section of our community. I speak with members with various problems and members who live perfectly by the book. They are all there and they are all members of our church.

There are people who compare our church to a garage. Then they expect our members to resemble the new cars in the showroom. Shiny, smelling wonderful, spotless, and not a speck to be found. In reality, we are a garage, but rather the workshop where the broken, dented, rusted specimens come for repair. Whoever expects to find perfection because we believe in Christ can be greatly disappointed or become absorbed in the stories as shown in this series.

Our church community is just a cross-section of society with one characteristic that might just be different from society. We know that we are not perfect and precisely for that reason, we need the atonement of Christ to be able to grow further. To claim anything else is hypocritical, yet another weapon of the adversary.

Many members will be shocked by this series or even hurt because they think that this is now typical for our community. The worst part is that they feel others consider them hypocritical because this series thrives on the fact that people whose community lives 'better' than them, in reality, maintain 'lower standards'. Pity for those who a part for the whole think. This sample is not representative, but at the same time, it is not a lie. There are 100% certainly members in our community who have sexual escapades, including swinging. I have no doubt about that.

What I do know is that such matters actually immediately mean that these members should reflect on the vows they have made and the covenants they have entered into. Time to work on repentance, I say then as a bishop. Certainly not definitively overboard yet. The atonement of Christ is infinite for those who repent.

Let's just be honest about that. Of course, many members of our church will use vibrators. And they might now be shocked because I dare to name that honestly. Our faith is very clear about this: sex only belongs within marriage, but is not, contrary to what the world thinks we believe, only allowed for making children. We find this intimacy very normal and healthy within a marital relationship. It just belongs. I am not too prude to say that we are normal people who canenjoy their sexuality.

But at the same time, it is also something that belongs exactly there: between man and woman. Swinger parties certainly do not belong there. It is not a sin for girlfriends to exchange some ‘tips’. Promoting openly indecent things, I would definitely encourage self-reflection on that.

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we certainly should not be hypocritical. But we are allowed to say “this is not how we all are”. And as long as the viewers of this series realize that, I would say: enjoy the entertainment if that's your thing. And for those who really want to get to know us: always welcome. Or if you prefer to search at home, then read about the studies that give a much better picture of a average Mormon family.