Shine like a little star, my love

Joy and sorrow can be so close together. Just two weeks ago we knew that Isabel was pregnant again, last week we told family and friends, and now we've already had to say goodbye to our baby.

Last night there was already a sign of trouble, this morning something was clearly wrong and we rushed to the hospital, where the gynecologist knew after only a minute that it was a miscarriage and there was nothing to be done.

All day I've been sitting here like a beaten dog, mainly asking myself “why?”. Did I do something wrong? A month ago I asked God to bless us with a new soul, last week I thanked Him for it, and now…? Is this a punishment for something? May I be angry with God because He is angry with us?

In any case, I know one thing: people can say what they want about abortion and unborn life or life or not… For us, this child was already fully present and its soul was already welcome in our family, and therefore it will be just as much missed.

This is the second time this has happened to us; I know that the sorrow will therefore find a place in my heart, but at the same time, a piece of myself has also died again.

I hope you are happy up there, my little dear…