Love is also daring to say no

We are facing an enormous challenge in Europe. Our prosperity and especially our democracy is a paradise on earth compared to many war zones and dictatorships in the rest of the world. So it is normal that refugees are extremely attracted to this.

As a Christian, my heart beats for political refugees. People who flee their country to preserve their lives because of war or political threats are entitled to support from those of us who are better off. I am proud to see how The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is developing commitment to help refugees and calls on Mormons to help where possible.

I do this out of a love for my fellow man. But love also means that I want to help them in every way. The fact that they flee their country and find a welcome refuge here with us is thanks to the enlightenment that has led to our (Western) democracies. The freedom we have created to live here and say, think and believe what we want is a warm gift that we offer out of love.

Saying no to refugees out of love

But from that same love, we must also dare to teach them that they should cherish this gift. That if they don't do that, it won't benefit them, because eventually things will end here just like the country they fled. We must dare to say no when actions are taken that are not accepted in our society according to our norms and values.

That is not a discussion about which religion is or is not humane. It's not about religion or culture for me. I don't care where their norms and values ​​come from. I do care that our hard-won norms and values ​​remain attractive, for us, them and the generations that will come together after us.

I also love my children very much. That's why I set boundaries for them and sometimes listen to hours of whining about why they should do this and that and not do that and this. So I explain this to them again and again and punish them when they cross clear boundaries that they know will lead to punitive consequences.

I therefore do not understand at all what is wrong with helping refugees by offering them clear lessons about what is and is not possible in our society. With blurred language and obscurity we do not help them, because then we create even more confusion. Communication will be difficult enough due to language and cultural differences. Let us not make it more difficult by using vague language and trying to introduce nuances that are unknown to them.

Turning a blind eye will not help the refugees

What's in it Cologne happened or how facts were concealed in Sweden, is no love and no help for the refugees who mean well. That's just stupid behavior out of fear for our own people. Fear that racism will become rampant. I call that short-sighted, because these events will fuel racism more than if a government takes correct action against those who do not respect our norms and values ​​and commit crimes.

Help where necessary, be tough when necessary. As a Mormon, I look at Christ's actions: he showed charity like no other, but neither did he condone sin. An important commandment for Christians is “Love your neighbor as yourself.” So there is no better guideline for refugees. Love them and help them as you would like to be helped, as if it were your friends or your neighbors. But be as careful to correct them as we do with our children, family and friends who cross the line.

The best way is to help each other, like in Sijsele. Working and living together, as brothers and sisters, with respect for each other; that's what I think the solution is. If there is no respect, it won't work. That respect must come from both sides, without pardon or concession on this point. We don't help anyone with that.